I Know What You Did Last Summer

It's official. Summer's over, and it's time to go back to school.
Aunt Bonnie's question about where the pictures were made me realize that, some of you have not seen any of these pictures because I don't have your email addresses to send you the link to my Flickr albums.

Here are the pictures, and I want to thank you all again for making our trip a truly unforgettable one.

June 21 - July 10, 2008
Trip to North America (aka "the trip back home")

Vancouver, British Columbia
Jordy, Lisa, and Scott








Jacqueline & Carlos














Seattle, Washington

Erik & Ya-chun







Rachel & Lyle








The Landas Sisters & Steve









Portland, Oregon

Newport









Eric & Jenny (& Oscar) in Corvalis








The Martin Family























Sept 19 - 21, 2008
Trip to Macau

Rain Rain Go Away

Jangmi, also known as typhoon No. 15, finally left Taiwan at 4:20 this morning. Jangmi was the third typhoon that arrived on a weekend in the past 3 weeks.

The first one came on the Mid-Autumn Festival. Some teachers at my school had their flights out of Taiwan cancelled, so a few decided to cancel their travel plans. The second one formed when Bill and I were in Macau. We "dodged the bullet" 'cause, instead of heading for Taiwan, the typhoon hit Hong Kong and Macau the day after we got home.

And there was Jangmi, the strongest typhoon of all 3, that kept us awake at night clearing out the drain on the patio and changing towels by the front door. Jangmi was like a toddler throwing a tendrum. It roared and squeeched and splashed the heavy rainfall against every possible surface from all sides. The wind and rain was so strong that it practically "car-washed" all of our windows and screens (thank you, typhoon?). Luckily, our plants all survived... well, some look a bit bare 'cause they've lost a few leaves and branches. The good thing is all the dead leaves are now gone, so they all look very green and clean.

Taipei City Government cancelled work and school today. It also means that I can't go swimming at the rec center on campus. I guess we can do some cleaning (blah~). We'll definitely need to wash and dry the towels.

Freedom~~~~

Bill and I went back to North America during my last term break in June, and my fellow coordinators had to do the scheduling and subsequent substitution for two week into the term. Fortunately I had a chance to return the favor at the end of the summer term by substituting for them and putting in office hours to work on the schedule during the term break. Since I knew I was going to work during the break, I signed up for two short-term classes as well. What I didn't know was that the short term classes ran from 8am to 12pm. That's what I've been doing in the last two weeks: getting up at 6, teach for 4 hours, and work in the office for a few more hours in the afternoon.

It's all finished now. The classes are done, and the schedule is set. I'm officially on my break now, and the first thing i did was to reactivate my membership at the NTU sports center. CDN$30 a month with unlimited access to the pool and the weight room. Not too shabby if you ask me.

I think I purposely kept a hectic work schedule to avoid hearing the conversation I have with myself. We pretty much spent the last 3 months since we got back from North America going to numerous doctor appointments and undergoing various tests. Throughout the entire process, I've been struggling with the stress and pessimism brought on by the anticipation of various test results. I've had a few consequent emotional break-downs during which I sank straight into immense hopelessness. My medical history hangs over us like a dark storm cloud, and every less-than-perfect test result adds another layer to it. Bill and I try to take our minds off of it, but it hasn’t been easy for me.

Health wise, it looks like we’re in the clear. The results of the CT scan indicates that there is a pseudocyst on my left ovary blocking the passage to the fallopian tube. That pseudocyst may also be the reason for the recently elevated CA-125 values. However, statistically nothing indicates cancer recurrence, so Dr. Liu gave us copies of all the surgery and pathology reports for the fertility doctor to use as reference.

Even though we've talked to 3 fertility doctors (and acoording to Dr. Liu, they're the best 3 on the island), Bill and I have been working almost exclusively with Dr. Motormouth, the female doctor at Adventist Hospital. She is the most proactive and agressive, and she seems to be the only with a go-getter attitude toward our quest to having a child. Following her instructions, Bill and I have gathered a lot of data on my health conditions, and we've made a few life style changes so that we can be in our best shape when it comes time for the En-Vitro process.

I like Dr. Motormouth enough to keep going back to her, but I also made an appointment to go back to Dr. Legendary at NTU Hospital next Tuesday. Dr. Legendary is a living legend, and I’m curious to see what he says simply because of his reputation and expertise. However, so far Dr. Legendary has been put off by my elevated CA-125 value. He has tried, in different occasions, to convince me to have my left ovary removed and explore the possibility of egg donation. We're bringing the latest results and all the reports back to him on Tuesday. If he still has reservations about it, we’re definitely going with Dr. Motormouth.

I may have doubts and I may feel all hopes are gone from time to time, but it just doesn't feel right to throw in the towel without putting up a good fight first.

By the way, Macau pictures coming up soon. I'm still in the process of setting up the programs on my brand new computer (only 2 days old with all the plastic protection sheets still in place). I'll put up the pictures soon. Stay tuned.

Hello, Vegas in Asia

It's official!
We're going to Macau for the weekend. Yee-Haw~~~~

Bill and I have been working our butts off since we got back from the Pacific Northwest, and we've been running around visiting doctors and getting tests done (yes, I feel like a needle cushion sometimes). I want a weekend getaway. We deserve it.

Here's the official website of the Macau Government Tourist Office. We'll be there just in time for the 20th Wynn Macau International Fireworks Display Contest. And guess what?! The teams participating this weekend are from Portugal and "Chinese Taiwan". How perfect is that? Apparently Taiwan was second place last year, and the last time Portugal got into the top three was back in 2003. Each team has an entire hour to perform! It should be a spectacular show.

There's lots to see and do in Macau. I'm fascinated by the history and architecture. I spent an hour reading all the travel brochures Bill brought back. Macau sounds like a place where a photographer may be able to capture a Taoist temple right next to a cathedral. Macau also has many museums. What's even better is that, with as little as $25 Pataca (about US$3), tourists can visit all the museums within a 5-day period. We only have 2 full days, so I've already made a list of the ones I wanna hit: the Grand Prix Museum, Wine Museum, and Traditional Pawnshop Business. Of course, we'll have to visit the churches and temples, as well as all the fabulous specialty food stands and restaurants.

Have a great weekend, you all! We'll be back on Sunday.

Names Names Names

I don't know why, but I've been thinking of different names all day today.
Don't get too excited. I'm not pregnant. At least I don't think I am.
As I was saying, I've been thinking about different first names to go with Martin. By 9pm, while Bill was busy programming on the computer and me busy catching up on "Buffy" episodes, the name Christopher Martin occurred in my head. For some reason, I really really liked that name (in hindsight, it might have something to do with Christopher Robin in Winnie the Pooh or Christopher Walkin on one of Bill's T-shirts). Out of the blue, I threw that name at Bill by the computer. He replied matter-of-factly without even turning away from the computer screen, "I don't like it. It's got no meaning for me." So I asked him to come up with names that have meanings for him. He didn't, so my game of names continued.
Anthony Martin. Benjamin Martin... we even played around with Rudolph Martin (Rudy for short). I asked Bill which letter in the alphabet he liked best, and we went along with all the names starting with the letter J. Joey's got Joseph already, so I joked about the name Jean. However, with a first name like Jean, there seems to always be a middle name. Bill completed the name, Jean Philippe Martin, in a fake French accent. As we laughed about Jean Philippe Martin, the name Jeffery came along and kicked all the other names out the window.
Jeffery Martin.
Compare to Jeffery, Christopher Martin seems a mouthful.

Bill didn't have enough patience to play the name game with me any longer. He heard his Nintendo DS calling while I was on the real telephone with a colleague. By the time I was done, he was deep in a battle in space.

Jeffery, defined as "divinely peaceful". I like that.

Nope. I'm not pregnant. Though I know for a fact that it's around the time of swirling hormones.

Patience

My test results of insulin and Bill's semen analysis came out normal. Dr. Motormouth was surprised at the fact that my left ovary still ovulates from the ultrasound image. She scheduled another blood test on the 21st day of my menstrual cycle to test Progesterone. Meanwhile, Bill and I have to adopt a healthier life style: better sleep, healthier diet, and regular exercise.

On Friday I went to have the CT Scan done. After the first test run through the scanner, the technician rushed out and told me to take off my trousers, which were already pulled to my ankles. She then chuckled at the realization that the vertical line on my tummy she saw on the monitor was not the zippers.

Now we wait.

Next Wednesday is the blood test for Progesterone at Adventist Hospital.
September 16 is the day for the CA-125 and CT Scan results at TriService Hospital with Dr. Liu.

Meanwhile, life goes on. I gotta finish marking all the essays from all 3 of the writing classes and finish the summer term.

Egg

I think I'm going completely insane.
Lying on the exam table at the hospital with a camera aiming at my left ovary, I stared at the black round object on the monitor and felt a rush of warmth pouring out from the pit of my stomach when Dr. Liu said, "Here's an egg ready for ovulation. There are two follicles here and here." My eyes followed the cursor to two smaller dots on the monitor. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion.
"That's good, isn't it?" I wondered why I said that.
He turned his face toward me. In the dark, I couldn't see his eyes. "What?"
"I mean, the ultrasound images look okay, right?" my voice cracked in the middle of 'right'.

Never name anything.
Unlike amputees who often report how they could still feel the lost limb, I've never missed or felt the ghost of my right ovary. It went bad. We got rid of it. End of story.
I have, however, developed this strong attachment to my leftover left ovary. Sort of like a comradeship and, to a certain extent, this is totally justifiable. After all, I've got all my eggs in one basket, literally. No wonder I'm protective of the basket.
I think my affection, or very strong possessiveness, toward my leftover left ovary started the day I named it, which was also the day I lost my right ovary.

I don't know where I'm going with this.

After the ultrasound, I went back to the doctor's office. Right next to the many pictures of my left ovary was a measurement of my uterus (mm): 70.5 x 41 x 41.5.

On the bus ride back from the hospital, a little girl (she can't be more than 2 or 3) was counting for her own amusement. "One, two, four, six, seven, eight, nine, ten! One, two, four, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Her young mother corrected her each time, but 3 and 5 never made it.
After a while, a couple of random middle-aged women tried to help, and in no time, almost every adult in the back section of the bus was teaching the kid how to count to ten... correctly.
The little girl was still only counting those eight numbers when we got off the bus.
I don't know what the big fuss was about. I never liked odd numbers when I was young, and I used to think 1, 4, and 7 shouldn't belong to the sequence 'cause all the other numbers have curves.

I still do.

Priorities Reshuffled

7 pm Monday -- blood drawn
2 pm Tuesday -- Ultrasound
7 pm Wednesday -- insulin & semenanalysis reports
3 pm Friday -- CT scan

The desire to start the IVF process will have to be put on hold until we get the results.
I guess there's no point trying to conceive naturally now that an abdominal CT scan has been scheduled. Which is just as well 'cause it's not like Bill and I were feeling all hot and steamy after the visit to Dr. Liu's office last night.

Call me vane, but I blushed when Dr. Liu told me that Dr. Legendary filled him in on what was happening with me. The two big heads in gynecology, each with countless patients, chatted about me at an annual conference over the weekend.