Yuan

“Yuan”, pronounced with a rising tone (as you would for “Huh?”), is the essence of interpersonal relationships in Chinese culture. While interpersonal relationships are seen more as a rational process and natural progression in Western ideology, the Chinese believe that there is a “force” that predetermines who we meet in our lives. More importantly, the length and quality of the relationship, as well as the result of the relationship, are also predestined. Hence, in long-term relationships, “liang2 yuan2” means a good one and “nieh4 yuan2” is a bad one. Similarly, a good short-term relationship is called “shang4 yuan2” while a bad short-term relationship is called “xuong1 yuan2”. “To have yuan” means to have the opportunity to establish/maintain a relationship with someone. If a relationship can’t or doesn’t continue, it’s because the people involved aren’t granted the chance to be in that relationship with one another any longer than its course. Instantaneous attractions between two people, such as “love at first sight” or “to hit it off right away”, can be explained literally as the result of people projecting their pre-endowed yuan at one another, which happens to match (“tou2 yuan2”).

However, the concept of “yuan” is not entirely pessimistic and passive. Because of its unforeseen nature, people have to actively expand their social circles and meet the ones they’re “tou2 yuan2” with so they can make more “shang4 yuan2” (good, short-term relationships). Once a “shang4 yuan2” has been established, they have to “xi2 yuan2” (to cherish such relationship) so that, hopefully it can develop into a “liang2 yuan2” (a good long-term relationship). If a “shang4 yuan2” doesn’t turn out the desired way, the people involved must “xue2 yuan2” (to follow its natural course) and accept the fact that this is all meant to be and there’s nothing they can do to change it.

The concept of “yuan” is one of the most fundamental beliefs in Chinese culture; it is also the most unexplainable and incomprehensible. It’s not difficult to speculate the origin of such concept through a quick peek into the history of China: When the Emperor was the person with absolute power and he was believed to be “The Chosen One”, it’d be much easier for the more ambitious Joes, often much more talented and intelligent than the Emperor, to believe their failures and misfortunes were the results of their less dignified fate. The average Joes soon realized they might never have a chance to sit in the Seat of the Dragon, they could become successful by building powerful “guan1 xi1” (roughly translated as “connections”) to get close to the Seat. In an agricultural society, which relies heavily on large man power and a stable social structure, harmony and cooperation among the people is of the ultimate importance. A person with lots of “guan1 xi1” is admirable and respected for his ability to maintain harmony and cooperate with others. A concept like “yuan” served, and still does, as a defense mechanism against the discomfort and conflicts that may arise in the “guan1 xi1” by taking the subjectivity and individuality out of it. It also conveniently ties in with Confucius’ teaching of humility (humbleness). If a relationship does work out beautifully, the people involved can’t take credit for it because it’s simply preordained. Likewise, if a relationship ends up being a disaster, it’s nobody’s fault. When conflicts arise, people in Western societies believe the best way to solve a problem is through communication and interaction. The Chinese, in comparison, are much more submissive and accommodating.

This is like a soul-searching black hole that sucks me in deeper with no end in sight. Originally I just wanted to tell you that we met up with our old landlords after having moved away for 6 months and now we’re moving back to the old apartment. See how far I've strayed and now I'll have to spend the day with the buzzing thoughts and ideas in my head.