Ouchy Bum (Part Two)

Woahhh… I Feel kinda funky…

Nurse: You’re here to pick up Chang Xin-Hua’s cat? You can come in to the back and sit with him for a few minutes while you wait for the doctor.

Hunh? What’s that fuzzy thing over there? It looks kinda like a person… and it sounds like that male-person that mom lets live with us. Man I feel weird…

Doctor: He will not feel good for awhile. But he is okay. Everything went alright. Do you want to see the testes?
Male-person: Sure.
Doctor: There is blood. Will you feel sick?
Male-person: No that’s okay.

Hey… what are they talking about? I don’t like the sound of that. What are “testes” anyway? Why do I feel like something is missing?

Doctor: He will have to wear this plastic so that he doesn’t lick his wound.

Woah hands! What are you doing lady?! Meow! This is so humiliating! There’s something in the edges of my vision! Get it away from me! Meow! Hiss!

Doctor: He should wear it for three days. He can have a little food when you go home. If he eats it and doesn’t throw up you can feed him a little more.

I don’t like this thing on my head! Get it off! Meow! Hey what are you doing now? I don’t wanna go in there! Why is everything still so fuzzy? Why aren’t my legs working right?!

Male-person: It’s okay buddy. Calm down. We’re going home now. You’ll see your mom soon! We’re just going to walk down the street now…

What’s all that noise? Where am I? Meow!

Male-person: Here’s our building. We’ll just go inside first.

Aaahhh! Hiss! What was that loud noise?! Where am I?!

Male person: Sorry buddy that was just the door. Look here’s the elevator. Now here we are at our home. Let me just put your stuff down. Okay now here’s the bedroom – look here’s your bed and some water and food. Let me open the door of your carrier now and…

Waaahhh!!! I’mmm freeee!!! What is this thing around my neck!!!!!??? Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!!

Male-person: Nuenue! Stop! Wait come back here! You’re going to hurt yourself! No not into the living room! Wait come out from under the couch. Stop! Ah – almost got you! Nuenue come back over here! Stop! Got you! Sorry Buddy! You have to have it on. Okay I’ll put you back into the carrier until you’re feeling a little better. But I’ll leave the door open a crack so you can come out when you want to.

[Two hours pass]

Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!! Get it off!!

Male-person: Not again! Nuenue stop! No stay out of the bathroom! Hey you knocked over that plant! Come back here! Almost got you – sorry I hit your head like that buddy! Okay I’ve got you cornered now! Stop shaking your head like that you’ll hurt yourself! Got you! Okay buddy – we’ll take this thing off. But you can’t lick!

Okay that’s a little better. Jerk. I can’t believe you did that to me. I’m going to hide in the corner of the room. Keep that scary thing away from my head! Meow! Hey… what’s going on here anyway!? What’s this thing on my leg? And why does my back end feel so sore? Ugh.... I'm exhausted...... Let me just close my..... eyes..... here......

[few hours pass]

zzzz......zzz........ ugh?!

MOM!

Mom’s back mom’s back……. I can hear her at the door……. I’m coming, mom! Aw~ my bum!..... Must go to the door…..Man, does it hurt when I walk!.... I’m feeling a bit woozy…. MOM! You’re home.

K: Nuenue! [chuckle] Is he okay? He looks…… scruffy.

I feel like shit and all you care about is my looks?

B: Oh~ he got up to welcome you home.
K: Where has he been?
B: Sleeping in the bedroom. He’s still out of it a bit, I think.

Hey mom….. Oooo….. dizzy…… You wouldn’t mind if I just sat right here for a sec, right?! ….. Ah! Cold floor!

K: So what did the doctor say?
B: Everything’s fine. They gave him a plastic collar to wear but he went crazy so I took it off.

Mom, I can’t sit on the floor. It’s too cold and it really hurts when I sit down.

K: YOU TOOK IT OFF? I thought he was supposed to wear it for a few days!
B: Yeah, but he really doesn’t like it. He couldn’t get to his food with it on.
K: He ate?
B: Yeah, a little bit.
K: Nuenue, you must’ve been starving, eh? Not eating for almost 24 hours…Why are you sitting funny? You’re half sitting on one leg, half leaning against the wall.

Let’s see how graceful you’d be when your bum hurts as much as mine.
I’m exhausted. Can we just go to bed and cuddle?

B: He was really pissed off with the collar on….running around the house like crazy….. bumping into things….knocking things over….
K: My mom said Mocha was like that after his surgery.
B: I think he’s calmed down a lot.
K: Has he been licking?

Okay, seriously, can you two continue talking in the bedroom? Let’s go to bed and cuddle.

B: I haven’t noticed it. He’s been so out of it he hasn’t done much. He only got up once just now when you came home.
K: Well, as long as he doesn’t lick his wound, I guess he’ll be okay without the collar.
B: He’ll be fine. We just have to keep an eye on the incision….. that it doesn’t burst open again.

You realize I’m still here waiting? Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle! Cuddle!

K: Oh hey Nue! Wanna cuddle on my lap?

You humans talk about how cats have an attitude problem....... It's not that we have an attitude. It's really that you guys can be so dumb sometimes. Now stay still. I'm going to sleep now.